Mentor Text: from Empty Spaces by Jordan Abel
Techniques:
- Drafting
- Editing and revision
Background – I’m stepping out of holiday mode long enough to drop this here for you.
Both a colleague and I picked up Jordan Abel’s Empty Spaces to read early in December. It’s a hell of a text, an effort to explore modern Indigenous identity through a deconstruction of a canonical text that is not necessarily the best representation of Indigenous life, The Last of the Mohicans. In his first novel, Abel’s work as a poet shines through.
Let me peel back the hubris of the English teacher a bit here – I’m not sure I’m able to look at it as that deconstruction. Maybe if I were to sit with the two texts beside each other I could, but personally, I feel I’d rather enjoy Abel’s book, and spend time reading the work of Indigenous authors, as opposed to a piece of the canon that doesn’t respect Indigenous peoples.
So, what follows isn’t about a deconstructionist mentor text, but instead the things that came to my mind as I sat with Abel’s text.
How we might use this text:
Drafting – I mean this as no slight against Abel’s novel, but if you’ve looked at the excerpt I’ve shared with you this week, you may see how I can suggest this mentor text purpose. Pulling from the conventions of prose poetry, Abel presents a lot of information beautifully, but with no breaks. I love this in poetry, but I will admit that when presented with it I take a deep breath and steel myself for the read. It can be work to get through.
I might (incorrectly) present this to my writers as a draft, a first draft, where the goal is getting the words on the page. We can look through very quickly and find ideas, motifs and beautifully written lines. But it takes work. Working as a poet might, Abel has crafted this intentionally, and the stream of consciousness density of the text is intentional.
Perhaps my take on this as a first draft coincides with some of the writing I was reading from my students, where I was being presented with pieces they’d written where they had utilized this style unintentionally. Three page long paragraphs that were loaded with good ideas and strong attempts to express themselves creatively.
There is something to be said for that initial rush of ideas, the quickwrite, the brain dump of a first draft, written solely to get ideas on paper. Abel’s craft allows him to utilize this effectively as a polished piece, but it might serve our writers well to have a conversation about what works and why.
And whether a piece like this one could use a second draft.
Editing and Revising – Again, this is not intended to disrespect Abel’s work. It is beautiful, and the intentional density of it serves to communicate a tone and intensity that packs a punch.
But I know it will not work for all readers. As I read it, I needed to take breaks, and worked through the novel a chapter at a time, resting when I felt overwhelmed.
Part of our work with young writers is encouraging them to explore the writing process. Because a lot of our longer pieces of writing wind up being done digitally, I think we see a bit of a disconnect in the editing and revision stage of the process. Either using digital tools or another set of eyes, many of our writers aren’t that engaged with that work. It doesn’t help, I feel, that writing digitally instantly produces something that looks polished and professional.
I think when our writers look at their own work, sometimes, they’re unable to see what is on the page (or screen) as opposed to what they think, or feel, they wrote. If we present this excerpt from Abel’s work to them as a challenge, then we can perhaps have them consider what choices they feel need to be made to make this feel “right.” Have them go at it with the dreaded red pen, discussing how they’d make a second draft of this.
And further to that, there’s a discussion to be had about why Abel submitted what they’re looking at as his final draft. What is the impact, and the intent, behind doing things that break the rules and guidelines they’ve learned?
I’ll admit I feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable presenting Abel’s work to you this way. It’s powerful, poetic and important. I want folks to read it, and think about what he’s saying. But I also know that it’s challenging, and in that challenge are some valuable growth opportunities for our writers.
Do you have texts that artfully defy conventions that you share with students? Do you have mentor texts that encourage them to consider the drafting, revision and editing processes?
Leave a comment below or find me on Twitter @doodlinmunkyboy!
moving writers 